The Problem

Some women (and men) have a strong fear of water (aquaphobia), which can cause them great difficulty in going to the mikvah. It has been suggested that as many as 1 in 50 people in the general population suffer from aquaphobia. For women who suffer from this condition, going to the mikvah can be a monthly rite of torture, coloring the entire mitzvah of taharat hamishpacha. As one woman put it: “I would spend the sheva neki'im in subsequent months trying not to think about what exactly I was counting up to…I had panic attacks and an adrenaline rush that left me weak and shaky every time I thought of my upcoming 'trial by water.'”

General techniques for dealing with this fear may be helpful, and can be learned through books, therapists, or psychologists; but below are some suggestions that may specifically make it easier to go to the mikvah.

Possible Solutions

First, talk to a rav. We surround our tevilah with a lot of chumrot, many of which are of negligible import to women who are not afraid of water, but which can be removed under extenuating circumstances. For example: In a non-natural mikvah (where the ground is not muddy), it is permitted to immerse without taking your feet off the floor; you can hold on to the railing or wall (the section of it that is underwater); you may be able to wear a hairnet to prevent having to repeat a tevilah due to hair floating to the top; and you may be told to dunk fewer than your traditional number of times. If you do get these heterim make sure you explain them in advance to any new mikvah attendant.

Even if you are not using heterim, explain your fear to the mikvah attendant, and explain that you need time. The last thing you need is to feel rushed. You may also want to face the mikvah attendant, as seeing that another person is there watching you might make you feel more confident.

It may be a good idea to do a “practice run” before your first time – find out if there is a mikvah attendant who would be willing to watch as you went into the mikvah in a bathing suit, perhaps even holding onto you or showing you what to do. (On the other hand, putting your head under water even one extra time, just for practice, might be something you are unwilling to do – in which case, this is probably not a good option for you. As one woman said: “Simply put, I wasn't willing to submit myself to water torture for anything less than a divine commandment.”)

If necessary, and if you are comfortable with the idea, you could immerse with one or two women accompanying you into the water and holding you. (Both you and anyone assisting you must wet their hands in the mikvah prior to the immersion.)

It may help to talk about your fears with other women who share them, and who will understand just how difficult they make this mitzvah for you. Once again, Mayim Rabim is an excellent resource for discussions of this and any other aspect of taharat hamisphacha. In particular, one of the regular contributors to Mayim Rabim has a number of posts explaining her fear of water, how she dealt with it, and how ultimately (after many years) she was able to overcome it. Her story can be found here.