Taharat Hamishpachah is a mitzvah that encompasses a very private, intimate, and emotional aspect of our lives. As such, it can be uniquely rewarding – but also uniquely challenging.

In addition to imbuing every aspect of our lives with kedusha and avodat Hashem, keeping taharat hamishpacha is reported by many to bring concrete benefits as well. Many women find it overall to be beneficial. However, some women find aspects of taharat hamishpachah to be extremely challenging, sometimes almost unbearably so. Because women do not start keeping taharat hamishpachah until they are married, and because it is seen as a private mitzvah, there is currently a lack of available resources to help women deal successfully with these challenges.

In this pamphlet, we have tried to select those aspects of the mitzvah that seem to be difficult for a large number of women and to suggest possible solutions or methods of alleviating the problems. It is our hope that for women who do suffer from these difficulties, the practical advice we can offer, in addition to the knowledge that they are not alone, will greatly minimize the pain that they experience.

Many women find that none of these issues bother them, and very few will find all of them problematic. However, if you do find yourself struggling with any of them, this pamphlet may help you. It is a collection of various techniques that a number of women have found helpful in making this mitzvah easier and/or more meaningful for them. This pamphlet obviously doesn’t exhaust the possible solutions, and each individual woman will have to tailor the solutions, and possibly discover new ones, to fit her unique personality and situation.

In addition to reading this pamphlet, it is often helpful to talk individually to a rav or yoetzet who may be able to help you. Your local rav, or a yoetzet halacha (a woman trained and certified to answer niddah questions under rabbinical supervision; see www.yoatzot.com), may be able to provide you with halachic as well as emotional support. Another useful resource for emotional support and practical suggestions is www.mayimrabim.com, an online community on which women can anonymously discuss their experiences with taharat hamishpachah as well as with other aspects of being a Jewish woman.

We are always interested in updating the Et Lirchok pamphlet with further advice and suggestions. If you have found that there are ideas that work for you, but that are not included in the pamphlet, please email them to EtLirchok@gmail.com. All contributions will be inserted anonymously, and the identities of all contributors will be considered confidential.

As in many areas of halacha, there are differences in halachic opinions and local customs. The material in this pamphlet has been reviewed for halachic accuracy by Dr. Deena Zimmerman, a yoetzet halacha and director of Nishmat’s women’s health and halacha website (www.yoatzot.org). However, in cases of doubt, please consult your own posek.

Tizki LiMitzvot!