We realize that the laws and customs surrounding taharat hamishpacha can be confusing, even to people who make this practice a part of their lives. As far as we can tell, this site is a unique resource for sharing experiences in the practice of taharat hamishpacha, and therefore its very existence may also seem puzzling. We hope the following information will guide you as you navigate Mayim Rabim.
About Taharat Hamishpacha
Taharat hamishpacha (literally: "family purity") refers to the Jewish laws and customs governing the cycles of physical separation and union of husband and wife. Under the Torah origin of these laws, a husband and wife are not permitted to engage in sexual intercourse when the wife is in a state of niddah, which begins whenever she experiences uterine bleeding (generally from menstruation) and ends a minimum of seven days later, provided that her bleeding has ceased and she immerses in a mikvah, or ritual bath.
Rabbinic law placed additional stringencies on the length of separation and the behavior of the couple during this time. The most common practice is for the woman to be niddah for a minimum of twelve days: a presumed five-day minimum of menstruation followed by seven "white" days, also called shiva neke'im, during which the woman may perform vaginal examinations (bedikot) with a clean white cloth (commonly called a bedikah cloth or an ed) in order to ensure that all bleeding has stopped. After the termination of shiva neke'im, the woman may immerse in a mikvah.
Another common practice enacted by rabbinic law is for the couple to observe additional forms of physical separation while the wife is niddah. In addition to restraining from any form of physical affection (such as hugging or kissing), the couple may avoid passing objects to one another, eating from the same plate, or sleeping in the same bed. These observances serve as constant reminders that the couple is in a phase of separation, and are intended (in part) to minimize sexual arousal during this time.
This is a brief and very general overview of taharat hamishpacha. The laws are very involved, and before undertaking the practice we strongly encourage you to contact a proper halachic authority and learn the relevant laws in full.
About This Site
Mayim Rabim is an evolving online resource intended for people who practice taharat hamishpacha, or are considering bringing this practice into their lives. We recognize that because this is a public site, our actual audience may be much broader. Therefore, we encourage all participants to keep in mind that your personal reflections may be visible to anyone. Please take appropriate steps to protect your anonymity, such as using a pseudonym and altering identifying details about yourself.
This forum is intended for open communication about issues surrounding the practice of taharat hamishpacha, including frank discussion of sensitive topics and varying approaches to the mitzvah. Be open-minded in your reading and respectful in your contributions. While we encourage civil debate and the free exchange of ideas, flaming and disrepectful posts will not be tolerated. The site administrator reserves the right to remove inappropriate comments at any time.
Mayim Rabim does not endorse any particular approach to taharat hamishpacha, nor should anything on this site be considered halachic advice. Should you have a specific question pertaining to your own practice of taharat hamishpacha, please contact a rabbi, yoetzet, or other properly qualified halachic advisor.
About Our Contributors
Mayim Rabim's contributors come from a variety of denominational and philosophical backgrounds, and they live in communities large and small across the world. They all share a desire to shed some light on the experience of practicing taharat hamishpacha. Each approaches her practice of taharat hamishpacha in her own way and brings a unique perspective to this forum. The views expressed on this site are those of the contributors alone, and do not reflect the opinions or practices of any person associated with Mayim Rabim other than the original author.
All of these women write under pseudonyms. Each contributor makes her own choice about what potentially identifying information is present in her posts. While this information may lead you to recognize a personal acquaintance among our contributors, we ask that you respect these women's privacy and refrain from revealing their identities on this site or describing their association with Mayim Rabim to other people.
Although you are welcome to contact an individual contributor please do not do so with the expectation that she will reveal her identity to you. Also, please do not contact the webmaster to ask about the identity of any given contributor or whether a particular person is or is not associated with Mayim Rabim. We are serious about our responsibility to protect each other's anonymity, and we hope you can respect our views.
Occasionally, we will post an essay from a guest contributor. If you have an idea for an essay and would like to be considered as a featured guest, please contact the webmaster.