Mayim Rabim

Desde, I've only ever been to one mikvah. Part of me is excited to try a different one, and part of me is a little freaked. At ours (2 full prep rooms, 1 mikvah), appointment only, big mysterious rules about never seeing anyone else, what gets checked depends on who the attendant is, and they're all really good about holding your towel high in front of their faces until you're completely in. I hate having to call to make an appointment, but otherwise, I really like our mikvah.

But then again, I have nothing to compare to ;)
fB

I find the lack of toilets in some mikvah prep facilities rather annoying...this is supposed to be such a private thing, you are supposed to experience an increasing sense of holiness and self-reflection as you approach tevilah, and here you have to bundle into a bathrobe or towel and traipse through the halls (often past at least one other person) just to pee again.

I *cannot* understand how they build prep rooms without a toilet in each one. At my mikvah, I never have to see a soul (besides the mikvah lady). I realize that at busier mikvaot I might have to run into someone I know, but at least, let it be while I'm still dressed! To make you traipse dripping and half dressed down the hall... am I the only one who needs to pee every time she gets into the bath? :)

On the other hand, you can't daven in the room if there's a toilet, and I often wish I could say something in privacy before I go out to the mikvah room.

At the mikvah in my community there are two mikvah pools, a toilet down a hall, a prep room with a shower only, a prep room that is basically a dressing room and a prep room with a toilet, tub and shower. (One of the mikvah pools is usually out of commission. Often it's only used for men or toiveling dishes.)
Most of the time I've been shown to the prep room with the tub/shower/toilet. Also I never thought the tub thing was such a big deal as my (Sephardic) rav told me to bathe at home and just take a "rinse off" when it was time for immersion. Hmm. I guess, I'd beter see if this is indeed correct.
Anyway, our mikvah facility was/is pretty scuzzy. OK, so the water's fine but the bathrooms leave something to be desired. Crumbling tile, decaying vinyl flooring. Add to it that the doors seem paper thin. Sitting in the waiting room you can hear the next dunkee saying her brachot or chit chatting with the attendant.
On some nights the waiting room is like sitting in the women's section on Shabbat. Not exactly private. More like a coffee klatsch.
But...here's the exciting news. Our community just dedicated a new suburban mikvah, which was built by Chabad. AND another one (also Chabad) is going up in my neighborhood. No more nighttime trips across town. If these mikvaot are anything like the Chabad-built mikvah that went up a few years ago in my sister's community, they'll truly be a hiddur mitzvah for us all.

ive lived in two cities while married - both with pretty large jewish communities. city a - you made an appointment, but you usually ended up sitting in the waiting room with a bunch of other women. i loved this mikvah (compared to the one i go to now) b/c there was almost always the same, single attendant, and she remembered your name, etc. where i live now (city b) we call it the mikvah factory- "in and out"; there are usally 3-4 women on duty every night, and you almost never see anyone else unless its a busy night (the only time i ever did was the night after tisha bav ended), and its enormous - i know the room numbers go up to at least 13. Both mikvahs had everything in each room- tub/shower/toilet. but city a's was much newer and each room was stocked with really nice toiletries, etc, and city b is pretty sparse and kind of old. city a she always checked your hands and feet, and city b asks you if you want to be checked and you are free to say no and just go right in.

Well, if all you need to do is pee, the drain in the shower goes to the same place as the drain from the toilet, you know? If you've just filled a bath, it's super-annoying because you have to let the water out and start over, but it's still better than going down the hall in a robe (or towel!) hoping the bathroom is available!

Latte, your Rav's advice was fine. However, not everyone prepares at home first, especially if they've got little ones around. I remember showing up at one busy mikvah, and the attendant was asking everyone, bath or shower? meaning, how prepared are you? so she could prioritize assigning the rooms. If all the rooms were taken by people who needed to bathe, it would take that much longer, so she only set aside two rooms for that, and got people in and out of the others that much faster.

At our mikvah, there's sort of an unwritten rule that you should prepare at home. If you HAVE to prepare at the mikvah, that's okay, but you have to let the attendant know in advance. There's always this feeling that you're really putting them out if you have to prepare there. The mikvah has a ginormous tub, and a little part of me keeps hoping we have a hot water trouble on one of my mikvah nights, so I have a valid, guilt-free excuse to soak in that massive bath! ;)

Latte, I would also mention that nothing you read here should make you doubt your rabbi! We all have different approaches here, and the only thing that's binding on you is your own rabbinical authority.

You can CERTAINLY check on Shabbos, what about stray hairs on your back?

Sara, there are different opinions about whether and how much to check on Shabbos. The local mikvah checks my hands and feet the same way they would on a weekday, although I'm not sure what they could do if they found a problem except send to shul to ask the rabbi. (In some part of Boro Park, I've heard, they have a non-Jewish woman on premises who can clip your nail or take out a splinter for you on Shabbos, but my mikvah doesn't.)

But when I asked my own rabbi what to do, he said it's better not to check anything at all once you get to the mikvah, because you couldn't fix it anyway. Just make sure that you did a very careful preparation before Shabbos, and that you don't have a chatzitza so major that it's obvious without checking.

Maybe even those who say not to look would distinguish between something easy to fix, and something that could get you into trouble? In that case hairs on the back would probably be a safe thing to check...

I guess if you checked yourself before Shabbos, you're all set. Isn't it "biblical" that you have to check yourself three times?

I've also heard about having a non-Jew on Shabbos and yomtov for things like extra skin on cuticles, etc., but I don't know how they do it, if you can't do it on Shabbos, how can they?

That's anyway only for people who are machmir on that; I didn't take that upon myself. I'd never be done otherwise!

I've never heard of checking yourself three times.

In one year and a couple of months of marriage I have been to two different mikvahs, and will soon be using a third - one that I used to live two houses away from before I got married! The one I normally use is supposed to be by appointment, but this, like many of the other unwritten or written rules is unknown by many in the community! When you get there they ask you what type of room you want and while I have never had a problem, I know that some people get a "look" when they ask for a tub. For ten months we were doing construction and had no tub so I had to use the one there... either I was just clueless and missed the "look" or perhaps because I always called ahead it wasn't a problem.

I do have a big problem, though, with knowing that some women are being made to feel like they are doing something wrong by requesting a tub. Whether they are prepping completely at the mikvah because they can't at home, or they choose not to because they want to have a "personal spa" type of experience, it shouldn't matter. Personally, I prefer to prepare at home. One of our construction projects was a beautiful master bathroom with a separate shower and tub - and the tub is extra wide, deep and long!

I am actually considering becoming active on the mikvah board to try to help try to change the community mentality. Don't know if it will help, but it can't hurt trying.

Isn't it a din that you have to sit in the tub? I mean, how can the mikva matrons be giving them a Look? Do they think it will take too long?

Sara, I'm sure the timing has everything to do with it. The "look" is almost surely because they haven't done this part already, at home -- and didn't warn the mikvah ahead of time that they were planning to come needing a tub. Not that they want them to skip the tub part, Ch"v'Ch, but they wanted it done at home.

I suspect my local mikvah was having a similar problem, although both prep rooms have tubs... there are only two prep rooms! If you are planning on doing your whole preparations there, you could be "stealing time" from the attendant or another woman if you haven't warned them. They have "solved" this problem by changing the fee structure. If you take more than 45 minutes to prepare at the mikvah, you pay extra. So while you are welcome to prepare there, this makes you more likely to reconsider it if you can actually prepare at home, and more likely to remember to warn the mikvah attendant.

(From beneath, this would solve your problem too... then you wouldn't have to feel guilty about using their "ginormous" tub when you have a perfectly good (if smaller) one at home, if you arrange in advance to give a larger donation on those occasions when you want to "indulge.")

Ah, I see.

If you want to give yourself a spa treatment, or otherwise - cut your hair, use a depilatory on your legs, take off nail polish and cut cuticles, etc., - whatever could potentially take a long long time, you can't expect to hog a room there.

Got it.

But I tell ya, sometimes that's the only time I have to myself, ya know...........

I was actually taught that no bath is necessary. A shower will do. Sephardim hold this. So at the mikvah I go to most of the rooms are showers. I think there are two baths for Ashkenazim.

One mikvah I went to (when I went to my grandfather's levaya in another city) charges more for rooms with baths. I think it was $25 for a bath and $20 for a shower. I thought that was highway robbery until I saw the mikvah. Marble and clean with lovely bath products. Plush spa towels and robes. At my mikvah I often have to ask for a nail clipper and most of the robes have holes. Not so with this one!

The din is to get every area of one's body clean, and the bath is an expedient way to do this. I heard a yoetzet (ashkenazi) call this 'a little bit of a le'chatchila.' But sometimes circumstances demand a good shower only.