dribble .. dribble .. flow
as per my kallah teacher i dutifully "ignored" the spotting and waited for the main event. it hit with a vengance about 10 p monday night. ok, so now i'm niddah (since i'm not married and its been 11 months since my mikveh visit i've been niddah for a while, but now i'm really niddah). dutifully i marked it in my calendarS (more on that later, bli neder) and i sent df (dear fiance, let's name him, Yitzi) and email "i'm a girl" .. i got a reply "i know" ..
at first i was upset it happened at night before bed (generally it starts about 3 am), but then remembered (and confimed with my calendars) that my period generally lasts at least 6 full days .. so why be frustrated ?
anyway, yitzi and i made a commitment to try to do better with harchakot .. it will be tough (we have difficulty with negiah as is, and now i have to worry about passing? OY). but i know we'll survive.
my kallah teacher suggested making a game of it -- bonus points for creative passing, prizes, etc. i think this might help..
so far we've done ok -- i know he's working harder than me because he told me. so that is making me really think about "that which is normally covered is forbidden" .. its tough that even talking on the phone (we live a half mile away from each other) arouses excitment in both of us! when i have cramps, all i want to do is snuggle .. (see my post "longer intro" re couches and why this is most likely the best solution for us!)
the score thus far? well, we both get bonus points for not having our nightly "good night peck" when he walked me home from class teh other night .. but i will be docked for directly handing him his umbrella this morning on our commute to work. now, what could be prizes for both the winner and looser? (winner (me) allowed to buy new book, (him) i let him alone .. looser (him) must help me with hebrew and other learning, (me) doesn't pester him about davening [praying] for rest of month .. ) ? Hmm..
it is going to be a long two weeks. i just wonder/hope i can alleviate this frustration by finally setting a date and planning this wedding. i wonder if i can actually set a date for 2.5 weeks in the future.. ooh! my mom will be mad but this whole wedding thing isn't interesting me. marriage yes, but well, does anyone know how to halachically [under jewish law] elope???!!!
so many more thoughts to write.. bli neder [without a vow], soon.
Comments
It's the dribble dribble that gets me every time. I still have trouble telling what I'm supposed to ignore.
my first time, it's hard to say how "accurate" we are here. All our experiences are the experiences of real women keeping some form of Tahrat HaMishpacha, but we come from varied backgrounds, and aren't all strictly "Orthodox" which makes the discussions here (I think) all the more interesting. We certainly try to keep each other on our toes, so to speak. Several times questions have come up, and someone has gone searching for an answer and reported back in one of the comment streams.
I hope you enjoy this glimpse into our private lives and practices, and will continue to read and post.
Desde, I'm guessing from the fact that Shanna deleted it that my first time was probably comments spam. (For those who didn't see it, the comment said "how accurate is this blog.")
The same person (or program?) left a comment on another post that said something like "I'm not sure that's true," and it was completely unclear what "that" was supposed to refer to.
Of course if my first time is a real person, they're more than welcome to come back and comment some more... and your explanation of what we do here is a great one, and can certainly stand on its own.
Sure, it's not difficult. Just get a Rabbi to grab a minyan together. Oh, and you'll still need a marriage license, a mikvah visit, and a ring. ;-)
Umm, just out of curiousity, why are you practicing the not passing thing if you're not married yet? I've never heard of that before... is it because you haven't been "good" about negiah?
And talking on the phone is supposed to excite you, remember this is the man you want to marry!