Coming Home Update
When I went to the mikvah over vacation this past month, I got into the car and kissed my husband. Just like that. No butterflies, no tension, and best of all, no fights.
My first thought was that it's a feng shui type of thing, and my house needs a makeover. Then I realized that I never had this post-mikvah anxiety before I had kids, and that school, internship, a house, toddler tantrums, and my husband's 16 hour work days (he usually has to rush home from work so that I can get to the mikvah in time) greatly hinders romantic feelings, and when we are forced to partially shut down those feelings for two weeks it becomes even more difficult for them to flow freely at an appointed time.
Going to the mikvah towards the end of a most needed and enjoyed vacation showed me that although at this point are many factors that conflict with a romantic relationship, underneath it all we still have it and that with enough forethought we can get it back. While I used to see mikvah night as a return to the physical, I think I will now approach it as Our Night to Shut Off the Rest of the World. Everybody needs to be in that place once in a while.
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Avigayil, I'm so happy you had a tension-free mikvah night! It's great that you were able to have that, to appreciate that you do still, as you put it, "have it" :) I truly hope Shutting Off the Rest of the World works for you, and that you find a way to facilitate that!
Thanks guys! Desde- I think having the dip being a triumph in itself has a lot to do with it, though you definitely are doing something right. I think if we can figure out a way to make mikvah night into something significant we'll be ok. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh, I'm so glad to hear that! Sorry your vacation didn't coincide with your tahor time, but at least it helped with the transition!
My husband also has to rush home for me to make it to mikvah before the mikvah lady goes to bed, and I too have small children, so I know how stressful it gets. But somehow I'm not stressed when I walk back in the door... If I figure it out what I'm doing to achieve that, I'll let you know! (Maybe you should cultivate a fear of the water, so you can feel relief and achievement that you've accomplished your mikvah visit in spite of it? Just kidding, of course.)
Hope you can figure it out... apparently your relationship with your husband needs more attention, and you need some time off from the kids, which is hard, especially when your husband is hardly home. Babysitter and more date nights? Something?