Mayim Rabim

Thanks to a comment, I've been reminded that I actually like observing t'h. I enjoy it. Really, I do.

First of all, I love having two hours to myself, free of interruptions. I get to soak in a tub, with a good book, candles, and a CLOSED BATHROOM DOOR. No one interrupts. If the phone rings, I pretend I can't hear it. I get to spend two hours on me, me, me. Okay, so part of that two hours is spent compulsively checking my body for loose hairs, but it's still me-time. I get to go to a spa-like setting (we have a great mikvah) with heated floors and soft, fluffy towels.

Then I immerse in (usually) toasty warm water. Some voice behind me declares me kosher. I'm kosher! Then, in the water, I have my time with G-d. I don't know if I can describe it well, but standing in the warm water, knowing I'm "kosher," the water lapping against me, the sound echoing off the walls of the room, and having G-d's attention - it's the most amazing moment for me.

Then I rush to get dressed and get out of there, but I usually wind up chatting with the mikvah attendant for a minute or two. After I leave, I head towards the parking lot, which contains my car, which contains my husband. Then I get the best kiss of the month. I get great kisses throughout our permitted time, but that first one always seems like the first time my husband ever kissed me.

Whatever happens when we get home, happens. Sometimes we just cuddle together on the couch and watch a movie. But there's two-plus weeks of holding hands, hugs, cuddling, and being able to enjoy something as simple as my husband pouring me a cup of coffee and handing it to me. And hugs. Did I mention hugs? ;)

Those are the immediate, tangible results. Then there are the moments when I'm reading a history book, and the author will be discussing a 1500-hundred-year-old mikvah that was discovered and I feel this unspeakable pride and connection to Judaism that I am practising the same mitzvah, more than a thousand years later. Or when a friend comments to me about something at the mikvah, and I have this unbelievable sense of connectedness to this woman, because we both share this special, holy act. Or when I read this blog and realize we all have similar issues and concerns, with a few tweaks here and there. But even the tweaks are shared.

And yes, there are times when t'h sucks. When you really, really need to be held and you can't be. When you have to rearrange ten different appointments because your mikvah night falls on a really inconvenient evening. But these things are all part of observing t'h.

I have read the stories of the hidden mikva'ot; people who risked their lives to maintain and hide the mikva'ot from the oppressor of the day. The people who risked their lives to use the mikvah. The women who cut holes in the ice in frozen lakes just so they could immerse. The lengths that people have gone to to ensure that this mitzvah would be observed. I am honoured to be carrying on that tradition. I am blessed to be able to fulfill this mitzvah. I am a better person for it.