Mayim Rabim

Never occurred to me to tip. Certainly my kallah teacher never mentioned anything about it. Am I supposed to?

my kallah teacher said something about paid/unpaid tipping/not tip ... said it generally goes by community...

not that i see this little insight helping -at all- ...

i haven't tipped but i haven't figured out how i would tip if i wanted to...

the women who help appear and disappear quickly and i haven't found the cleaning women yet to say thank you...

wow. Never thought about it. Nobody has ever mentioned it in our community, and neither did my kallah teacher. I kind of feel like, as long as I'm expected to carry my used towels, robes, slippers, etc., out and place them in the laundry, there's no need to tip.

Michaela, maybe you can anonymously call the person in charge of your mikvah and ask if it's expected that you tip?

I usually leave a folded-up dollar bill or two tucked under the tissue box for the cleaning lady, but it never occurred to me to tip the attendant. I pay by check...how awkward would it be to then reach into my wallet too? I can't just add more money onto the check; it's made out to the mikvah, not the attendant herself.

(And since everyone knows where I live...local people should feel free to tell me what they do.)

I've never tipped. It never ever even occurred to me!

I don't tip where I live now (midwest - IL- large community- if that doesnt give it away...)

I didn't in Boston either when I lived there.

My mom does where she lives though...(South)

We used to live in Manhattan and I went to the mikveh on the Upper West Side. When it was time to pay the mikveh lady would say in a thick accent, "eighteen ploos teep." I have always assumed from that experience that it is customary to tip!

I don't think it's ever expected, but it's probably nearly always appreciated. The women who do this can't be making much per hour, and they give up a lot of their time to do it.

My kallah teacher actually said that you might want to give a small gift, if the mikvah attendant does you a favor out of the ordinary. Like opening the mikvah after hours just for you.

Shanna, I don't think it would be strange at all to hand the attendant a check together with a couple of dollar bills, if you want to. But I'm sure it's not expected.

The custom of tipping is I think also the idea that you don't want anyone thinking badly of you on mikvah night - no one should give you an ayn hora. When I was desperately trying to get pregnant I didn't want anyone to think badly of me, so I tipped the front desk lady $1-2, the cleaning lady $1-2, and the mikvah lady $3-5. But between the car service each way and the actual cost of the mikvah, it was getting expensive.

I find that it also depends on the mikvah. If you are in a mikvah in a large community (like mine) where there are up to 50 women a night using the mikvah(s), the cleaning lady is VERY busy, and has to clean many rooms that night, some more than once or twice. Also, in larger mikvahs, the mivkah ladies are paid a little something, and depend on the tips for what is otherwise a chesed by them.

In smaller mikvahs, where it is by appointment only, the mivkah lady may be the cleaning lady and the rebbetzin all rolled into one, or the cleaning lady may just be the shul janitor. Usually the "tip" for the cleaning lady is just rolled into the cost of the mikvah. My mikvah costs me $10, but I've been to smaller mikvahs where I've been asked to pay $18-30 for tevillah. In a smaller mikvah, the rebbetzin/mikvah lady may just consider it part of her rebbetzin job.

We really need a mikvah lady in here to do a guest post/Q&A.

I have a vague recollection of my kallah teacher having said something about tipping - more along the lines of "it would not be insulting" than "it is recommended", but bringing money into the mikvah pool room seems really awkward, and if she's busy with someone else when I leave (often), I just leave the check in the office. I wonder if a loose dollar would be considered a tip or an oversight to be put into tzedakah (i.e., mikvah funds)? Maybe ask if it can be rolled into the check and indicate on the memo line, Shanna?

i set aside money to leave, the rooms are so spotless and the attendants so kind. i was so scatterbrained about the entire process (i kept thinking i was forgetting stuff, but no, i did everything on my checklist, that's for another post) ... only problem was it stayed in my bag and i realized this once i was on the way home *sigh*

I think that tipping would reduce the mitzvah
earned by the mikveh lady ... besides profaning
a profoundly spiritual activity.

Brema, I think you might want to ask the mikvah ladies how they feel about that. :)

I also think "profaning" is rather a strong word in this context. We all pay for our mikvah visits; we have no idea how that fee breaks down. Would we mind if it turned out part of that money goes towards the mikvah lady's salary? Personally I'd be very glad to know that it does. And if it doesn't, I'd be glad to know she's getting some tips.

Just for example, consider that many mikvah attendants leave their children at home in order to provide this service for the community. If they've got husbands who can be home those evenings, that's great, but if not, how are they supposed to pay for a babysitter?

Does the fact that we receive a "reward" in the form of physical affection, when we get home from the mikvah, detract from our mitzvah?

I'm just not following your argument.

And furthermore, if the mikvah lady would prefer not to dilute her reward, as you say, why can't she put your tip into tzedaka?

I have heard that tipping is a seguah for having children.