Totally beachin', dude
This month when it was time for me to go to the mikvah, I couldn’t do it. Just couldn’t make the phone call. Not that I didn’t want to be with my husband, that wasn’t it at all. I just couldn’t face yet another month of making an appointment, going to that place, making small talk, having some relative stranger stand over me, declare me kosher, then pay money we don’t have because every stinkin’ penny we earn is going to fertility treatments.
So instead, I had the brilliant idea of going to the beach. I thought my husband and I could go, sit on the beach and watch the sun set, and when it was dark, I would go immerse. Of course that’s not what happened. Because there was no “appointment,” he felt no pressure to be timely, so we completely missed the sun setting. By the time we actually got to the beach, I was really frustrated and angry that my grandiose, romantic plans were shot. It was also quite dark, so I didn’t have the chance to pick a nice, secluded spot – I had to go where the path was. And I couldn’t tell if there were people on the beach, but figured if there were, they could probably tell that I was in the water, so I had to go in with all my clothes on, and take them off underwater. Then hope that they would float long enough for my husband to grab them before they sank to the bottom. He did bring a towel, and held that up. I should point out that with all the discussion about immersing at the beach instead of the mikvah, my husband didn’t pick up on the part about how he would have to get into the water, too! Once he stopped complaining about getting wet, I immersed, he said “kosher,” I said the bracha, he said “amen,” I immersed, he said, “okay.” I said, “what?” He said, “okay.” “Does that mean it was kosher?” “Oh, yeah, sorry – kosher.” sigh
The hard part was getting my sopping wet clothing back on underwater, while my hubby tried to help AND keep the towel up. That caused lots of giggling, and walking back to the parking lot across the beach holding hands was delightful. We even laughed over the fact that my husband forgot his wallet and the flashlight were in his pocket when he went into the water. I’m so glad we did that instead of going to the mikvah.
Except for one thing: Y’all do realize it was May, right? There’s not a single beach north of the Mason-Dixon line that is WARM this time of year…
Comments
Next time, take a plastic wash tub, like the kind Rubbermaid makes for doing dishes, & put your clothes in that. It will float within arm's reach holding all your clothes while you do tevilah. Also, check on the internet as to the coliform count of the water you wish to immerse in. I don't want to be gross or spoil your fun, but it's important that you not expose yourself, particularly your vagina, to water containing too high a level of certain bacteria. It is possible for you to develop an infection which could close your tubes or otherwise complicated your efforts toward having a baby.
Not trying to be a downer. Just practical & safe while you have fun doing your mitzvah :)
They should NOt charge you; I never paid when my husband wasn't working! Even now, fees are going up and I plan on paying whatever I feel I can.
ooooooooh jealous. :) :) :)
yes, cold water and all. i've been to the mikvah when there was no hot water, either!