the game of survivor
Here's another thing I didn't anticipate about mikvah night falling on Shabbos, three months in a row: not getting to stock up on bedikah cloths! I was down to the hard scratchy ones I had never even opened, once they started selling the "extra soft" kind. (I guess this is the equivalent of that pair of underwear you wouldn't be caught dead in, except you forgot to do the laundry again?)
Actually, with the heter I have to do only three bedikot (hefsek tahara, one on the first day, and one on the last) it's probably been an even longer time than I realize since I bought a new package. It ends up being more than three, because it takes me a few tries to get a clean hefsek tahara, but still.
This month mikvah night was, thankfully, on a Thursday. I came home with a package of the T-shirt cloths that I raised my eyebrows at a couple of years ago like a suspicious old lady. (What is this newfangled nonsense you want me to try? Are you sure they work?) And they are SO SOFT. They make my "extra soft" ones seem like a joke. Why was I denying myself, all this time?
Well, I know why. I've put off buying new ones until the last possible moment in the semi-unconscious hope that I wouldn't need to buy more. Because I'd be pregnant.
And psychologically, it's been worth it. But at this point, I have to, and I'm going to take my creature comforts and enjoy them. Actually, I'm considering upgrading my mikvah prep tools to really nice things too. Spa quality. I want to think happy thoughts when I take out that little bag.
It's time for some retail therapy.
Comments
I need to do that too... buy a really nice "makeup" bag that's big enough for what I need to bring and stock it with nice stuff. Been planning to for a while, but haven't managed to actually do it yet!
T-shirt kind of bedikah cloths, huh? Haven't seen those yet, but after using extra-soft, I am never going back to the "normal" ones!
Dear Eden, I hope that G-d blesses you with children in the near future..but I don't understand why the hope of getting pregnant prevents you from buying more cloths..I will explain why I am saying that.. Once a person gives birth, they need to have 7 clean days before going to mikvah, etc. so for sure need a number of them to make sure to get clean, and getting clean after pregnant usually means a LOT more hefsek taharas than usual (at least for me and a few other people that have mentioned this to me casually), so if anything I would say to stock up if there is an intention of getting pregnant...
Oh, I second that. Because at least after a period, you have a pretty good idea of what day to start trying for a hefsek tahara. After childbirth, well, basically you have no clue. And then bleeding doesn't just stop, but you go down to spotting and staining... several days clean, then maybe spotting again (especially if you're under stress... but no new mother ever is, right?)
And if you believe the instructions to wait 6 weeks, especially after your first, and don't start trying for a hefsek until after your post-partum check, maybe it's a little easier... but I'll still say my "good" hefsek after giving birth has varied from 4 1/2 weeks (the earliest I was ever willing to try) to 10 weeks post-partum. And you can use up a lot of bedikah cloths that way!
Um. Heh heh.
Ok, let's put it this way: to me, first I have to manage to GET pregnant. Then I'd have to, im yirtzeh Hashem, keep the pregnancy for nine months. Then deliver, bsha'ah tovah. Then, a few weeks after THAT, start thinking about getting back to mikvah again. Do you see what I mean? I have no confidence I can even get to Step A yet -- I'm certainly not at the point where I'm thinking about what I'm going to do after Step Z.
If you've been through the whole process a few times, maybe it seems like it goes by really fast? But to someone who's been going to mikvah every month without fail for five years straight, a nine-month break seems like a really, really long time before I'd need to restock again. ;-)
I forgot to say - thank you for the good wishes!
Desde -
As a not quite newlywed, I discovered that a toiletry/makeup bag served the purpose really well. Not just for trips, but also to make sure DH didn't snitch the only nail clippers in the house. . . we now own several (nail clippers) but DH still sometimes walks out with one in a pocket (?) - at least I know where I can always find one!
hah. i just raided my bag for a toothbrush with a holder to go on vacation... mostly because i *knew* there would be one there. a nice little bag makes me feel much better about clipping my nails *so* short (my mikveh is quite machmir ["strict"] in that). plus i lose nail clippers, so i tend to throw 3 in at a time and by the time i need them again there might be one in there. maybe they're with all my lost socks?
Eden, I know it's a really long time. But that's part of the problem... it's a really long time when you are nowhere near the mikvah, and have no need for bedikah cloths... except you've used a few that first month on onah days, maybe, before you realized you were pregnant. Trust me (it should happen for you soon!) pregnant and post-partum you are not going to be thinking about whether or not you need to restock your bedikah cloth collection until you realize you don't have any... and by then you've missed a day or more. Then you have to go find some without actually using the mikvah... not always so easy.
So while I know it didn't occur to you, those of us who've been through it try to get pregnant with a stash of bedikah cloths available, so we won't have to go searching for them after.
My mikvah sells them for 3.00 a pack, I bought a whole case (about 100 packs) for 1.80 each on mikvah.org. This is, shall we say, a long term investment. It was annoying to always be buying more, especially since it seemed like no one else in my mikvah ever bought any. (Why is that?)
Mmm hmmm... retail therapy. My favorite retail therapy? New makeup.
Ah, see, I live right down the street from my mikvah! All I need to do is drop in one night for a couple of minutes. But if for some reason that doesn't work out, my backup plan (for this month too, if I had ended up going on Friday night again!) is to order them online from mikvah.org.
In any case, thanks and I will file the tip away, but to me this still seems like a *supreme* case of counting my, er, eggs before they're hatched. ;-D
For all those worrying about where to get your bedikah cloths, where I live in Israel they're sold in most supermarkets, toiletry shops, etc., which are sure to be not more than a 10 minute walk from any location in the city. And they only cost about $1 each (I think... it's been a while). No, this is not the best reason for moving here, only one more in a long list...
Does anyone know where I can get the t-shirt cloths? I bought a bunch the last time I was at the gorgeous Syrian Mikveh on Avenue S, in Brooklyn... and I've run out. I simply cannot go back to using the zigzag-cut "extra soft" ones. Can anyone help me out? I'm even willing to pay someone to go buy it and ship it to me!
The ones I bought have a website on the package, but it doesn't seem to exist!
www.srigit.com
I would ask your local mikvah to start selling them if they don't already. It seems like everyone who's tried them loves them.
But in the meantime, you can always cut up your husband's soft, broken-in white undershirts... my kallah teacher suggested this back in the days before they sold them! Or even your own white underwear, as this Yoetzet suggests.
I've done this in a pinch when we were out of town and I had forgotten to bring any bedikah cloths with me.
For emergency bedikah cloths, you can use your own white underpants, also I find my husband's old undershirts particularly soft.
It took time but I also keep a nice makeup bag ready to go, with a list of what to put in last minutes.
It helps a LOT!
Sounds good to me. I had one month where I was washing bedikah clothes in order to have enough... and they're just not as soft anymore when you do that. So I started the habit of always buying a package, (as long as it wasn't shabbos) whenever I went to mikvah whether or not I needed them... but where I live now, you can't buy them at the mikvah. One of the attendants sells them directly, so you look her up. And she won't think to bring, even on her night, if you haven't asked her to in advance... So I have to be careful, or I might run out again!