Question from Mindela
A visitor to our site wanted to ask us the following... please post your replies so we can possibly help her with her situation!
Mindela writes:
I am a young widow. I originally thought that it would be improper for me to go to the Mikva after he died because it seems like an announcement that I am available. Now that a few months have passed, I wonder if going to the Mikva again, one last time would be a carthartic thing to do. Perhaps I'd reconnect with my husband in a new spiritual dimension. What is proscribed halacha? I welcome all comments.
Comments
Your poor thing. That's awful. I am glad you are getting in touch with your feelings.
I just wonder....and correct me, if I am out of line here...what is going to be AFTER you toivel? I mean, how are you going to feel, going home again?
Think about it. Because you can toivel erev Yom Kippur, too, and it doesn't have the same connotation.
Mindela - My condolences on your loss.
Not that I'm in any position to have an opinion on the subject, but I think Sara's point is well taken - I can see how the "same but different" of toiveling erev Yom Kippur (maybe especially if you don't usually) might bring the catharsis of rebirth and all that, without quite the same level of longing/loss that might be triggered by toiveling among women who are not in your situation - even if you don't SEE them.
Mindela - I am so sorry for your loss. I am certainly not a halachic expert, but I can't see a halachic problem with this. You are certainly not obligated to go to the mikvah, but I see no prohibition either. I think you should do whatever feels right to you. and I hope you find the comfort you are seeking.