Everything you never wanted to know about bedikos and were afraid someone would tell you anyway
Our dear friend RenReb (I hope I'm not being presumptuous, because she never actually said she wanted to be my friend.) has posted an exhaustive article on bedikos, in two parts: "A slight "oops," plus "Bedikot Part I: Definitions and clarifications" and Bedikot Part II: Love of grossness, and a grossness of love
She does an excellent job. The part that made me giggle, though was the scenario I imagined after reading this:
It so happens, for example, that my husband thinks I'm an immature ninny for being grossed out by bedikot. He has never been grossed out by a bedikah. He doesn't see "vaginal secretions" on the cloth at all; he just sees a color, perhaps an ambiguous color, that needs his clarification. The fact that the color is a vaginal secretion doesn't even come back to haunt him later. He wasn't even grossed out when he received his training, and had to, among other things, spend some quality time with a big ol' scrapbook full of bedikot that were done by actual women. I never got to see such a book myself, but being an immature ninny, I squealed my little head off when my hubby told me about it, and he promptly rolled his eyes at me and changed the subject.
What jumped into my head was the following conversation between a husband and wife after the husband returns from showing his wife's bedikah to their Rav.
Wife: Honey, what did the Rav say?
Husband: Umm, he said it was fine. But, umm, he wants to keep it for his scrapbook.
Wife: HE WANTS TO WHAT?
Husband: He asked if he could keep it for his scrapbook.
Wife: HE ASKED WHAT?
Husband: He asked if he could keep it for his scrapbook.
Wife: The Rav collects bedikot? What kind of crazy person collects bedikot? Tell him to collect his own wife's bedikot! This is the person we want for our Rav? He actually has a scrapbook of bedikot?
Husband: Well, yeah, but he wouldn't put your name next to it or anything.
WIfe: Great. Well, there's a load off my shoulders. Why does he collect bedikot? Don't you think that's kind of, I don't know, creepy? Even from the Rav?
Husband: I think it's for training other Ravs. you know, they have to learn from something!
Wife: Oh. (long pause) Well, I'm not sure I want anyone learning from mine!
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I have gotten underpants back, if I'm included a self addressed stamped mailer.
But bedikas? I don't think the color lasts, I've had colors change by the time I've gotten them to the rov.
Well, I've always made my husband take them, and ask, and stand there waiting for the answer... but no, I don't remember the bedikos actually making it all the way back to me, now that you mention it.
All I could think about when reading the comments to those posts was how her readers would FLIP if they knew that I showed my questionable bedikot to my father. But aye, that is a post for another day.
What I find amusing - if that's the word - is that my mikvah has bedika envelopes for sale. You mean that I get to pay for this privilege? First cloths, now mailers. I think I should package and sell mikvah prep checklists and a daily bedika reminder calendars with inspection times.
My husband brings mine to an absolutely wonderful Rav a few blocks from here, and we never get them back, but that's because (get this!) 3 of my husband's friends are getting their training from this Rav to give their own P'sak on these things!
He does always give back the envelopes, though.
Desde - Thanks for the chuckle! (even though I have never yet gotten back a bedikah, and I too make my husband do the actual asking)
While I can see where RenReb's husband is coming from - mine has been known to discuss colors, etc. with the Rav while asking, I agree with her!
And Avigail - that is a post for another day. implies that the day will, eventually come. Please? I'm intrigued - to say the least.
Avigayl - does your father know they're your bedikas when he checks them? 'Cause that is a little too close for comfort in my book! lol. :)
tallatte, i dont know about what other mikvaot sell, but have you checked out the "mall" at www.mikvah.org (i think thats the address)? not only are they selling envelopes with check the right info boxes, they have mikvah kits bedikah cloths in bulk and all! being about as far "out of town" as i could be, i kind of liked the idea of bedika cloths in bulk (never run out if you buy them in 100's), but some of their items raised a chuckle for me too!
avigayil, you've intruiged me to! please do post!
for the record though, we have had bedikas come back - if my husband was there (he never went back for them), though not always. personal preferance of the rav? i would rather not think too much about it!!!!!!!!!!!
I guess they want to have a nice amount of stuff to offer the public. I think it's nice!
Maybe it IS hard to find robes with hoods? I know for a year or so we couldn't get them at our mikva and I shlepped a snood along each time....
could be. My mikvah doesn't have robes at all. Just towels.
Rabbeim keep bedikas to use as examples. Especially if they teach other rabbis for semicha in niddah.
Right, Hujkit, we know. It's still disturbing sometimes when you think about one of yours being kept for posterity, though.
I complain about bedikot a lot, but now that I think about it I'm kind of glad to be on the doing-them end of things, not the looking-at-hundreds-of-them end...
Sara, I just realized the significance of robes with hoods... you have to walk in the hallway to get to the mikvah from the prep room!
I've only been to small enough mikva'ot that the prep rooms all had doors that led directly into the mikvah room. I always go bareheaded for the two steps from one room to the next, since it's just me and the mikvah lady anyway.
My local mikvah seems to have acquired robes during my most recent hiatus... but they still don't have hoods.
So now it all makes sense. (Robes with hoods being a precious enough commodity for the "mikvah mall" to bother offering them.)
hahahaha!!
But um... wait. Do people usually get their bedikot BACK from the rabbi? I never do, and there's no explanation given. As for whether he's throwing them out, pasting them in a scrapbook, or making a beautifully color-gradated flipbook, I've never wondered before and I think I'd rather not know...