Topsy-Turvy

Posted by Michaela at 11:25 PM on January 14, 2006 | TrackBack

Ugh. My stupid period had to come at nighttime this time around, for possibly the first time since I got married. Calculating vestot is going to be a blast...

Wait, could this be possible? I have a 48-hour period blocked off in February for two successive vestot? Over a weekend, no less? Well, maybe not really, because I don't really have to keep 24 hours for both of them, but this time of year a nighttime veset is essentially the same as an all-day one.

The most ridiculous part of it is that I know I won't get my period then. Not without some drugs, anyway. Sometimes, I think halacha is just plain dumb.

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On January 14, 2006 at 11:59 PM, eden said:

Argh!!

That's an interesting question, though. Shouldn't there be some way of getting out of vestot, eventually, if you can prove a chazaka that you don't get your period without medical intervention?

Hmmm.

On January 15, 2006 at 12:55 AM, purplegirl said:

If you're taking a pill, a Rabbi might let you have physical contact on your onah, though nothing more. I know of such a case, but the person had to beg it out of the Rabbi. "My wife cries every day she can't hug me - she's on a pill and science knows she will not get her period today..." that kind of thing. Some Rabbis say an onah is an onah no matter what medicine has to say, and others say, if you know you won't get it, you don't have to keep the onah. Speak to your LOR.

On January 15, 2006 at 07:32 PM, Tzofia said:

This is what the Nishmat website says about physical contact during an onah:

Sexual intercourse is forbidden during the onat perishah. Other displays of affection, such as hugging and kissing, are permitted; however, some couples refrain from these as well. Additional restrictions which apply when the wife is a niddah (harchakot) do not apply at these times.

So reputable opinions allowing physical contact during onot are readily available. Michaela, don't feel bad about a nighttime veset - that's what Shabbat afternoon is for!

On January 15, 2006 at 08:51 PM, Michaela said:

purplegirl - That worked for when I was on birth control pills, because I had a veset kavua for x number of days after my last active pill, and I had been through however many cycles without spotting in between and whatever. Now, however, I am not using birth control, just progesterone on occasion to induce "menstruation." In theory, I could get my period at any time. I think I may be able to skip beinonit and chodesh, but I'm not sure. I should ask...

On January 17, 2006 at 09:44 PM, Raquel said:

Michaela, there is a type of veset called veset chatzi kavua, half kavua cycle. The basic idea is that if you never get your period before x number of days for at least 3 consecutive intervals, then you don't have to keep the onot that fall before those x number of days. So, for example, if you have the following intervals: 40 days, 56 days, and 37 days, then you don't keep anything before 37 days (until you have an interval that is shorter than 37).
My understanding is that not too many people are aware of this type of veset, since I've seen it only in one book (A lifetime companion to the laws of jewish family life) and I've heard it from a yoetzet from nishmat, not from other people. I think this is what the Nishmat website is referring to. So ask a knowledgeable Rabbi.

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