Mayim Rabim

I did the math (confirmed by my kallah teacher) and the date i have to do my hefsek taharah has been marked in my calendar for weeks. Today I flipped my calendar to the new week (and moved my clocks ahead) and realized it's THIS week!...

Each month it seems my husband and I take our level of observance of t'h one more step. Since my husband didn't take any classes, and relies on my knowledge, I'm constantly having to remind him of the "rules." Like not passing me things directly. And that gets tedious month after month to have to constantly remind him. And the touching thing. We decided initially that we were not going to have separate beds, mainly...

The last time I went to the mikvah was in late August 2003 after my post-partum checkup. Since then, my nursing hormones have been in full swing. While I was dealing with a three-week early baby who couldn’t nurse properly for the first few months, a colicky baby like you wouldn’t believe for the first six months and a baby who wouldn’t sleep more than two hours at a stretch until 18 months, at least...

Good grief. OK, I will write a proper entry soon, bli neder, but I just realized it's Thursday night and I forgot to make an appointment for my Friday night tevilah AGAIN. Two months ago when I forgot the first time, I called the mikvah lady Friday morning in a flurry of apologies, my words tumbling over each other to convey how foolish I felt, how unlike me this was, how bewildered I was that...

There is much talk of the benefits of Taharat ha-Mishpacha. It’s good for your marriage, it’s good for your sanity, it’s good for your cervix. Yet I personally have mixed feelings about approaching my observance in this way. The reasons for this are twofold: 1) To a certain extent (I think on my good days), I view myself as a halakhic purist who follows what has been commanded to her for its own sake, and...

Well, it wasn’t quite. But it was a closed, cloistered, ultra-frum neighborhood in Jerusalem, and I was only visiting. We were pretty much newly weds, and this whole mikvah thing still felt awkward. Our had trip started with a bang as well – the first morning, jetlagged and exhausted, we were awakened (in bed, together) by the maid who was used to cleaning rooms by 8:00 am. I was horrified; so was she. My husband...

"Oh it was you" sighed the exacerbated voice on the other end of the line. "Yes", I replied. Ok, to be fair let me back up a bit, like four or five days.....

I'm not a very "spiritual" person. Shortly after I got married, I mentioned the fact that I was practicing T"H to a couple of women, a friend and a Conservative rabbi. Both asked about my "experience" using the mikveh. Both times, I replied with a complaint about the train ride. This really was how I thought about mikveh (and often still do): an hour and some-odd long train ride in each direction, which makes me...

More than once, as I'm about to be seduced, I've looked down and seen the first few drops of blood. Only a few times, but definitely more than once. Even more often, I've looked at my calendar, counted the days, set my heart on one last time for the month, and then something has come up. One of us is too tired, one of us doesn't feel well, a delay or distraction or deadline comes...

The first time I was to visit a mikvah, I had to journey four hours from my home town to the city where the closest ritualarium was. I travelled with the woman who had taught me and was to supervise me. During the second part of the trip, on the ferry, I mentioned to her what a close relationship I had with my uterus. I explained to her that at moments of great transformation in...

As you may recall, my first go at progesterone-induced menstruation didn't work so well. Shortly I went back to the doctor, got a prescription for a stronger version of the hormone, and was told to start "whenever." I carefully counted days in the calendar; it wouldn't do to have my tevila fall out on any of the festival days of Passover (first two or last two) if it could be avoided, particularly since for the...

For those of you playing along at home, I thought I'd post a quick follow-up to this post. I was not niddah at the second Seder, so tricky wine issues were avoided. This morning, my reproductive system was kind enough to react properly to the progesterone withdrawal. It's been so long since I was niddah...I was almost convinced that I would miss it. Nah. I'd still much rather go home and cuddle with my husband...

It's Day Five, and I'm gushing. Although I'm pretty confident it's going to take more serious medical intervention, I've tried not to become resigned to missing my ovulation date, not to throw out my hefsek tahara on Day 5 as hopeless, or worse, not even to attempt one. I do one this morning, in case I don't have time later. It looks faintly pink to me, but I set it aside to dry, then bring...